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If your intent is to abandon the
world as you know it, Guam could be just the place to try.
I’m writing this in the lobby of the Westin Hotel, located
on the prime tourist strip of Guam, a scaled-back version of Waikiki.
For the three days I’ve been here, it has been me and a hotel
packed with Japanese families on holiday.
I just paid $4.40 for a Grande-size drip
coffee of the day at the only Starbucks franchise on the island,
and I consider it a mammoth value. It is early morning and
I’m seated in front of a towering wall of glass overlooking
Tumon Bay where a static ocean is disturbed intermittently by lazy
waves rolling over a coral reef a couple of hundred yards off shore.
A brilliant, blazing rainbow arches across the scene, with dense,
towering clouds forming a perfect Pacific backdrop.
The only downside is another guest seated
nearby has been enthusiastically picking his teeth, emitting loud,
guttural sucking noises in a futile attempt to dislodge a shard
of bagel from between two teeth. I am barely able to stifle
the urge to ask him to cease and desist, but I am a guest here.
And, I’m fairly certain he does not speak English, so saying,
“Jesus Christ, buddy, get some floss,” would have little
impact.
Though I’ve never before set foot
on this rock, a U.S. Territory located a few degrees from the Equator
and easily 7,000 miles from Auburn, Asia is a very familiar place.
For about a decade, I happily traveled all over the region, but
I never actually had the opportunity to visit here.
I made the trip out—it took a brutal
26 hours in transit from Seattle to Tokyo to Guam—to meet
with an old friend about coming to this island to reside and work
for a couple of years. There is plenty of upside: it
offers a chance to reinvent myself again; adventure is a certainty;
and the compensation package would be world class. With Auburn
closing in on me at an accelerating rate, Guam became a real-life
siren calling to me seductively.
After being on the ground here for a short
time, though, a realization swept over me that I would be the last
one to accept or even acknowledge. I have come to love and
appreciate Auburn, and more than any community I have ever lived,
the foothills is truly a place I consider home. While I’ve
walked away easily and with confidence in the past, this time it
is not such a simple matter.
Some things take time to figure out, don’t
they?
*****
It has been a couple of weeks since my last “Only
in Auburn” column went out, and the response I received surprised
even me. After emailing, “A Valentine for the Singles
of Auburn,” I heard from nearly 50 readers, and several of
my correspondents let me know what they were thinking in 1,000 words
or more (forcing me to slice them up with my editing knife).
For those of you who missed it, I wrote
at length about my impressions of being single in Auburn and the
“challenges” men can expect to face as they seek out
companionship. I based my piece on observations noted in my
bar over the past four years, plus I drew on some of my own very
limited personal experience.
I offered insight into my peculiar thinking
about compelling issues facing mature, single men such as “The
Hierarchy of Needs of Women” and the “Mistakes Men Make.”
What really got me into some difficulty, though, was postulating
a list of “What Women Want.” While the piece was
written largely tongue-in-cheek, some people took the entire column
literally. Believe what you wish, but I have huge respect
for women, and I value what they think. Unfortunately, I rarely
understand it.
What follows are some of the Comments,
Criticism and Great Thoughts from my fans and the launchers of digital
brickbats (all will be posted on my new web site, soon to hit the
Internet). I love you all.
If you did not receive—or failed
to open—my original column, let me know and I’ll forward
a copy.
Hey Gary, I get this feeling you just broke
up with someone or else you are just stirring up the pot!
Maybe a little of both. I just wanted to share some thoughts.
I wouldn't respect any woman...OR MAN who
didn't put their kid first. As far as I am concerned, taking
care of your children first is the mark of someone with good
character and a necessity.
I'd like to dispel some myths. Not
all women are too independent for men. There are a lot of
us out here that have had to be independent and it has made us stronger
but feel that being without a partner is for the BIRDS! In
developing my independence I have learned all the more how much
I appreciate a good solid man. I personally respect a man for
his masculinity, chivalry, willingness to please, emotional vulnerability,
cooking skills, hard work, strength, stoicism etc.
The secret is to value these things without
reading into them as some attack on women. I know this is
totally not true. All I have to do is appreciate someone for
these things and I receive 200% payout in return. It's so
nice when you stop reading into things too much and realize that
men want to please us. It has taken me awhile but I have learned
how to receive these efforts with gratitude, admiration and lots
of affection. Yeah...I can be the man if I have to but who
wants to? That gets so old. I love men, especially when
they show their vulnerable sides and if they want to cook
for me, that is just a bonus!
Now about money. If a man is a good
bread winner, it shows a sense of responsibility and smarts, a good
work ethic and perhaps talent in a special skill. This is
all very attractive. I don't have a dollar limit but I can't
deal with someone who job hops or who is lazy and out of a job frequently.
That kind of stuff makes you become mommy eventually. Just
give me a smart and/or hard working man any day and I can feel respectful
and secure with that.
So I guess it's nice that the 'book clubs'
are frequenting your establishment. They find solace in each
other and your atmosphere and wine! That's a good thing.
After all, we are all just looking for the same things--we all want
to be loved and respected. However, some of us are still evolving
and figuring things out but don't hold that against us. Many
of us have been through the lessons and have learned to appreciate
a good man.
When you are at a place in your life where
you can do the same, she will show up and make you the happiest
man alive! All the best. . .
Excuse me, are you aware it is Federal
offense to read another person’s mail without permission?
Congratulations, you are the only one who got it exactly right on
both counts. Yes, I’ve had the unfortunate experience
of a relationship ending recently. And, yes, I am absolutely
stirring the pot.
In talking to people about my notion for
this column, I had several women suggest I write about these issues
from a woman’s point of view. Well, the easy retort
is I am not a woman, and as a person who can barely articulate his
own thinking, how could I possibly speak for the other team?
But then I had this idea: why not
incite women to describe what they are looking for in their own
words? Piss ‘em off, and they’ll tell us what
they want in a man themselves. At the most base level, I suppose
I am guilty of manipulation. In Auburn there is probably a
civil penalty for committing such an abuse, so fine me.
Okay Ladies, take a cue from your Sister.
I have never had the pleasure of reading such a thoughtful, sensitive
and heartfelt note as the one above. There is a sweetness
and sincerity to it that should cause every man reading this to
have hope. This woman’s advice should be memorialized
in “The Mature, Single Woman’s Handbook for Successful
Relationships,” and perhaps that could be my next project
(unlikely).
All I can say is simply, “Thank you.”
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and thanks for living a decent
life that recognizes the needs of others as well as your own.
Thanks for creating an environment where your partner has the opportunity
for fulfillment.
A closing note: This business
of relationships ending is difficult to calculate with any precision.
Many relationships, you would think, follow a predictable continuum,
with a beginning, middle and an end. But they don’t,
and as soon as you think you’ve got it down, you are immediately
proven wrong. You think it’s over, and it isn’t.
And then it is. Go figure.
Gary, I truly loved and appreciated your
last communiqué...
Run like the wind to somewhere like
Marin...you are clearly too cerebral for Auburn, too proficient
in prose and too clever. I am a married (23 years) woman and
love to read your adventures in singledom...although after reading
the last communiqué-- it leaves me with a smile as to
why I hang on with every fiber to remain married...if I weren't
married...I would jet off to Menorca and live in a rented little
house...having a Vespa to take me to town for essentials. Nothing
complicated...probably drink wine at night with a local fisherman
:)
Clearly, friend, Auburn is NOT for people
like you...you are clearly MUCH too intelligent for this sleepy
little town. Maybe Carmel, maybe Santa Barbara or Ojai or
Stinson Beach...clearly not Auburn. You remind me of Herb
Caen, but a bit more needy...a total and sincere compliment (BTW)....
Anyway, as a party of ONE (perhaps, not probably-) I totally
appreciate your musings...
Signed,
Tennis player, rider of large beasts, wine lover, ex-party girl
and married still!
Wow, I bought into your whole rap totally until you hit me with
the “needy” part. And isn’t Herb Caen dead?
Still, I can’t help but love the imagery of your fantasy in
Menorca. Everybody’s got one—a fantasy that is—and
it is only when we try to live out the dream that we wind up getting
into trouble. Actually, I live in a little rented house,
ride into town on my Harley for essentials and drink wine every
night. No fisherman in the picture, but I suppose I could
come up with another, more appropriate image of my own.
Truth be told, the only reason I keep writing
this crap is because of the great letters I’ve been getting.
And while it’s one thing to suspect that you are intelligent,
cerebral, et al, you can’t help but love it when women write
in to confirm it for you (even if they all seem to be married).
Thanks so much for your astute and uncannily accurate assessment!
Hang in with the marriage and invest some effort
in reigniting the passion. The alternative is a real drag,
and you heard that from a two-time loser.
BTW. . .when I first read your sign-off,
I though you wrote, “Rider of the large breasts.”
Have to admit I was disappointed to see you actually wrote “beasts.”
I’m sure riding horses is pleasant enough, but if an option
was available. . .
You finally got me. . .
I have been reading your pieces and
enjoying them, but never felt compelled to respond. Upon reading
your Valentine's edition of Only in Auburn, I was moved to email
you after I stopped laughing and explaining to my co-workers why
I was laughing. I turned 51 last month, was widowed at 38
and focused the years between raising my kids. I lived in
Auburn from 2000 until last July when I moved to San Diego.
I just have to say that after spending 6 years in Auburn as a single
middle-aged woman you have captured my entire experience there.
I do take exception to the "appearance" on the want list.
I have found myself attracted more to men that I have come to know
and appreciate; not handsome devils that everyone fawns over.
Women want real, genuine, character in a partner. This of
course makes it difficult to date because the people you get to
know well are usually in the work place where relationships are
best not pursued.
That small correction aside, I loved this piece. If it's any
consolation, the difference between the middle-aged dating scene
in a big metropolis like San Diego vs. a small town like Auburn
are very few--more venues, warmer weather--nothing of real significance.
Good luck to you and me and all of us singles struggling to find
our new soul mates. I have to cut this short as I'm headed
off to see the Vagina Monologues with my daughter at UCSD after
a light dinner and a good glass of wine (an old vine zin perhaps,
no offense to Kendall Jackson).
Cheers (San Diego)
Okay, so let me understand this.
You make a point of saying only that you take exception to my premise
that women want handsome men, but someone less blessed in the looks
department with genuine character will do just fine for you.
So does that mean you still buy into the rest of it--$150k per annum,
mortgage-free home, travel buddy? Of course you don’t,
and neither do most women.
You sound like a sweetheart. So why
aren’t you hooked up? Could it have anything to do with
the “Vagina Monologues” thing (and who knew they talked?)?
Thanks for letting me know you enjoy my
stuff. At the end of the day, all I’m trying to do is
make people see the humor in these lives we’re struggling
through.
Gary – If you have ITunes, start downloading the Tom Leykis
Show. He’s syndicated nationally but not in Sacramento. He
mirrors most of what you’re saying below. Thanks.
Of course I have an IPod; I’m a
hip, happening, adult male of the new millennium. I also have
a Blackberry, HDTV, XM Radio and GPS. What I don’t do
is download crap from ITunes because I’m still trying to figure
out how to use all of the other devices. But thanks for letting
me know that Tom Leykis reads “Only in Auburn.”
Who is Tom Leykis, anyway?Comment:
Gary.... WOW! I just returned from a 10-day work week of traveling,
I actually took the time to READ this thing! You just wait
until I have time to respond!
A short note....my husband is 5ft5, balding,
not the most fit, close to 50 and I still picked him! Ok so he makes
over a million a year but that’s not the point! He hates
to travel, is not into wine, and lives in another state full time!
(I still live here!) So you see......not all of us are as shallow
as you make us out to be!
You are a wonderful, feisty man, and somewhere
out there, there is a great women looking for you.... you need to
get on that Harley, get out of Auburn and find her and drag her
back to your wonderful world.
Response:
So, you are deluding yourself with the notion that you picked him?
Sounds like your old man has some redeeming features. . .let me
count the ways. A million bucks, huh? Girl, if I were
you, I’d be home every night keeping an eye on that dude.
So now it has come down to this:
I’ve been described as “feisty.” Hello.
. .old men are feisty. Fidel Castro is feisty. “Wonderful”
I can live with. Feisty, now that’s gotta go.
It was good to hear from you, and I appreciate
your note.
Gary, I've been to some of your wine dinners,
but not for a while. (I moved to Lincoln in the summer of 05). I
was not aware of your divorce. I will get back up there one of these
days and have dinner at your cafe with my second wife of a little
over a year.
In 2002, I became a 50 yr old single man
living in Auburn. Unlike you, I bought out my ex and stayed in our
house. I met my new wife on match.com. However I agree with much
of what you said about it, especially the misrepresentation and
people with whom you'd made contact disappearing without a trace.
Who would want to email or talk with someone daily or several times
a week only to find out after a month or more that they're five
years older and 20 lbs heavier than they said they were? I certainly
ran into my share of liars.
Fortunately, my new wife was not one of
them. She lived in Oregon but is from CA originally and indicated
she wouldn't be opposed to moving back. We seemed to communicate
quite well and talked on the phone (mostly), supplemented by emails,
almost daily for two months. When we met, at Fisherman's Wharf,
it was basically love at first sight. Certainly there was a component
of infatuation, but our extensive communications had given us both
a feeling we already knew each other well.
I'm self employed and could juggle
my schedule to travel to where she lived in eastern Oregon for several
days about once a month. She was quite close to the Columbia Valley,
Yakima Valley and Walla Walla wine areas of Washington. After almost
three years of this, she moved down here and we bought a house in
Lincoln. So far so good.
Very interesting analysis. I agreed with
most of it. I'm sure a lot of women won't.
Okay, first things first. Get your
new bride up to Auburn for dinner, stat. How do you think
I make a living, anyway, from writing these emails?
I love a success story, and I am delighted
that your perseverance paid off. Starting over is a lot of
work, and to hook up there is no substitute for putting in the time
and effort it takes to establish a quality relationship. And
I guess part of that is cutting your losses and moving on when the
writing is on the wall (or flat screen, or whatever).
I suspect one of the only downsides in
your situation is you no longer have easy access to the wines of
Walla Walla (a place so nice, they named it twice). Let me
know what you need and we’ll order it!
Hi Gary, After receiving many of your
newsletters, I felt a need (along with many other women I’m
sure) to respond to your recent one about being single.
You’re not all wet in what you said
about women. Sometimes I can’t believe the things my girlfriends
say in reference to men and relationships. What bothers me the most
is that men listen to these women and believe all women think alike.
Such is not the case. There are many women out there who have been
burned and have come to the realization that looks, money and hierarchy
doesn’t mean happiness, and can sometimes be detrimental to
their happiness. Sometimes the more attractive men are, the larger
ego they have and the harder they find it to be committed to one
person. Likewise with money and power, they can be very controlling
and sometimes abusive. Mature women who have “come into their
own” recognize this and although they may have created somewhat
of a protective barrier, long for a man who is respectful, trustworthy,
sensitive and committed. All other attributes are secondary.
As for me, I lived in a beautiful small
town called Nevada City (we were neighbors practically) and was
a divorced, single mom for many years. I experienced the same thing
you’re talking about. Life in a small town can be difficult
and when I decided to start dating again, I found most of the guys
I went out with were very shallow and looking for one kind of connection,
physical. Or they would spend the entire evening talking about
their past relationships and divorces in a “woe is me”
kind of way. And then of course, word would spread about who I dated
and what they saw.
Eventually I succumbed to Friend Finders
and Match.com. After meeting several men for drinks and finding
they were the same kind of men I dated in Nevada City, I was ready
to give up. I went online one more time to take my profile off line
and decided to take one more look. What you said is true about the
profiles. You get to where you can’t trust what people write,
or the pictures they use (glamour shots, etc). Something attracted
me to the profile I read that day and I decided to make one more
contact. To make a long story short, the guy I contacted that day
is my husband and my best friend. After two terrible marriages and
a host of bad relationships, I truly found the man of my dreams.
He has all the characteristics I mentioned above and more. He’s
far from perfect, but so am I. We’ve learned to accept each
other’s differences and appreciate them. We’ll be celebrating
our 4th year of marriage this June.
I just want to encourage you not to give
up and know that there are good women out there. I thought all men
were the same but I found one who was different. The same is true
with women. I believe most women want to be cherished. By doing
little things to make her feel special, most women will go above
and beyond what any man’s fantasies are and will help him
reach a higher plateau in his life. My husband has definitely done
that for me.
Good luck to you Gary and Happy Valentines
Day!
What can I say except “thanks”
for sharing your beautiful story. What you said about accepting
each other’s differences and appreciating them is the key
to any successful relationship that starts later in life.
If you find someone who is crazy about you and loves your ass, isn’t
that close to being enough? Everything else comes out in the
wash, or you just move on.
You write with clarity and compassion,
and your man is lucky to have you. Very lucky, indeed.
I just wanted to say hello and that I enjoy
reading your e-columns. They allow me to have a disengaged,
humorous and voyeuristic relationship with the town I left.
Always the rogue voice, at times steeped in objective truth and
other times stemming from make believe paranoia, what I enjoy most
about your writing is the authentic voice coming to life on the
page, moving forcefully, as I literally hear you narrating.
Kudos on your most sincere piece yet.
Humor was key in your approach to the subjects
of relationships, as was admittance to personal shortcomings (I
guess humor and shortcomings are intrinsic).
San Francisco
I hear that a lot from people, that my
voice comes through clearly In what I write. That’s
because I write conversationally, and I am talking directly to you.
Everyone’s speech has a pattern and rhythm to it, and I guess
it’s tough to disguise my Chicago roots. When it comes to
my intent with what I say and how I say it, you got me cold.
It’s only when people understand that can they begin to appreciate
any writer’s work.
Gary, We're in agreement on all
you said. I'm a happy member of the 27% with a paid-off mortgage,
intact 401K, world traveler and a vacation home in the Sierra.
Very cool. So, got any plans for
Saturday night? My calendar is clear.
(By way of explanation, in my Valentine column I quoted a New York
Times story that said 27% of all American households are comprised
of a single person.)
Greetings~ I've been awake since 2:00 this
morning, and finally gave up the hopeless toss and turn fight I
was having with the covers. I fought that fight until 3:30
when I decided to stop and follow my instinct to stumble down the
hall into my office and seek the company of my trusty friend the
computer. What a treat to find your latest installment of
Only in Auburn waiting for me.
As I placed the cursor over the subject
line to bring your page to full size I took notice of the fact that
inside of me was a bubbling excitement reminiscent of what
I felt opening a special childhood gift. Your muses, observations
and delightful writing style do arrive like a gift that I,
at first, pretend only I and a few special people are
selected to receive. I read every word with great relish while
little by little I let the fact seep in that what you are writing
is for the public at large to read, and that on any given evening
anyone could walk into Carpe Vino and sit at your bar and receive
your service. As much as I enjoy Carpe Vino you have me imagining
finding Miller Town Road just to glimpse the place you live and
write in such appreciation for your surroundings.
I am in awe, or maybe even frightened,
at the bravery with which you stand out in the center of the room
with all your clothes removed fully knowing that the range of provocation
you no doubt stir up runs from really bad to really good, and that
the extreme of either side of the range is always possible.
Bravo! Encore! Encore!
Whoa. . .If I’m standing there
buck naked, I sure hope all of the damned lights are off.
Sounds like you are a fan, and I genuinely
appreciate the fact that you look forward to my column. I
guess I do tend to peel back the layers and expose what I’m
thinking and feeling a bit more than your average innkeeper.
And, yes, I do tend to push people to opposite poles with what I
write, but when I’m sitting alone with the North Ravine churning
below me, I don’t think about that at all. I just tap
out what is in my head at the moment.
My little spot on Miller Town Road is beautiful
to me, but to see the place in all of its modesty, you’ll
have to accept the fact that it is mesmerizing to a city boy.
:
Gary, Best article yet. Intelligent,
to the point, well written and sure to piss a lot of people off.
The truth always pisses people off. I was single in Auburn for 14
year before two marriages that lasted in total less than 22 months.
I know your pain. I'll never forget when I first got single. I went
to the Shang and seemed to catch the eye of lotsa ladies. They kept
whispering to each other. I was sure it was the fact that I
had lost weight and walked about with a confident air. I later found
out they were actually saying," He doesn't own a pick-up or
nail bag, and he has a job". Things haven't changed that much.
The solution for me (at least right now) is with my fourth divorce
I’ll just keep living with the lady. It works out that we--are
pretty good friends who need separate control of our own lives.
Match.com = they all lied...including
me. Book Club = Spring will be here soon...I will host.
Keep it up (in all ways). .
.
I’ll try in all ways, but some ways are harder than others.
I found your piece very amusing. My only comment is about the book
clubs. I found this hilarious because it relates to me!
The one that I am in is mostly married women, which doesn't make
a difference when it comes to talking about men. Married or
not, women love to talk about their husbands/boyfriends--it's our
outlet for dealing with them! Since men don't like to talk
about "feelings,” as women do, their outlet is the preferred
"fight night" with beer (and no talking of feelings).
However, we still do choose a book, even if only a small amount
of time is dedicated to talking about it. So where are the other
book clubs?! I want to join more!!
I don’t know how many other women took my little jab in
the same way you did. Actually, I have a deep appreciation
for books, and I’ve always got two or three going at once.
In fact, I enjoy books so much, I started my own book club (see
comment above). Unfortunately, I don’t think I could
get anyone to agree on a single book to read, and then I don’t
think any of the guys would read it anyway.
But how about this: I’d love
to participate in any serious woman’s book club in Auburn
(what a great way to meet chicks). All I need is an invitation.
I’ll read the book, and I’ll bring great wine to the
meeting (and I’ll leave my cigars at home). I dare any
of you clubbers. . .invite me, and I’ll show up. But
you have to promise not to talk about PMS or menopause. . .ex-husbands
are okay.
Hey Gary, Hate to admit it but today is the first time I actually
read your "Only in Auburn" piece. But I don't hate
to admit that I loved it!
Not necessarily the topic, as I am happily
married for the last 29 years. But I really enjoyed the rhetoric.
I love to write, but do little of it.
Actually reading your efforts and how you play with words, fanned
a spark in my latent capacity.
I often tell myself that I should take
a moment and write a bit each day, and of course I don't.
I think I will now.
Hey, I don't care if you tick off the whole
of Auburn through your words, because at least it will get people
thinking!
Dear Gary, . . .I very much enjoyed your reflections on the
topic of being a single man. I admit I agree with most of it, except
that I am really more interested in the heart and unconditional
caring of a man. Things just are so important any more as
I start my 50’s. I keep downsizing and getting rid of things
and feel liberated to live much more joyfully.
I am taking a creative writing class at
a local writers’ garret and as I read your article I was so
pleased to see in your writing the things that they are teaching
us to do. I am not a natural writer and so have a lot of learning
ahead of me. I liked the flow, how each paragraph connected to the
next, the logical sequence of your reflections (they might call
this persuasive argument but I am not sure). So anyway, I just wanted
to write you and say I liked the article and will study it as I
am learning to write better. I am to write something for “workshop”
next month and am at a loss of how to begin. I am reading and writing
each day to stimulate something, hoping one day I will realize the
topic.
Thank you. I wanted you to know you added
interest and entertainment to my day.
I wish you a life of fulfilling companionship
and good nights of sleep.
:
Many, many people have told me they find my work entertaining
(and it is work, believe me). But this is the first time anyone
has let me know they were inspired to write themselves after reading
one of my columns. I take that as the highest compliment and
a buss squarely on the cheek.
My two correspondents did not specifically
request any advice, but here are a couple of suggestions:
First of all, write about what you know, and then always start at
the beginning. There is a natural sequence to things, and
you must find the way by trial and error. That means you have
to write and then write some more--a lot more. Keeping with
it is the only path to creating your own style and establishing
your own voice. Write about what pleases you and don’t
worry about what anyone else thinks.
Devote twice as much time to thinking about what
you are going to write as you do sitting down at the keyboard and
actually composing. I use Stagecoach as a place to form sentences
in my head, so that when I start writing, it happens naturally.
When you write, write as though you have
a severe case of Turret’s Syndrome. Shout out the words
so everyone can hear. Don’t be afraid. And don’t
be afraid to take risks. By all means write about what no
one else is talking about. Be different; be unique; be yourself.
That’s what I try to do.
A couple of tips: Write in
simple, direct sentences and in short paragraphs (with an idea devoted
to each). Always use as active a verb as you can summon, and
never say what you mean, describe it. A good example: in my
Valentine column I sought to describe my height (I’m no giant).
Instead of saying I was “short” or 5’, 8”
tall, I said, “I have a 28-inch inseam.” See the
difference?
When you edit your stuff, eliminate words,
don’t add more. Write economically and concisely, as
though you were on a word budget. Use your own vocabulary; don’t
try to impress anyone with unnecessary adjectives or flowery language.
Ernest Hemingway didn’t.
Your first efforts will be pure garbage,
I promise. Mine were and many people will tell you I haven’t
improved much. But believe me, you will reach a point when
you feel it and you know you’ve finally said something that
makes sense and might even be compelling. That is for others
to judge, though, and they will tell you. So don’t be
afraid to share your writing with friends, family and other writers.
At the end of the day, writing is a solitary
adventure, a journey you must take independently. Finding
a place to work—like I have on Miller Town Road—makes
the experience that much sweeter and eases the difficulty of trying
to get the words in the right order.
Most of all, have fun doing it. If
you don’t, well try something else that makes you smile.
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